hi...

just thought i'd give you an update -
i'm not dead, just living in DC.
(they're not entirely the same thing, i swear.)


if you're interested, the most-updated way to find out what's going through this strange head of mine is my blog, astra, at [link] ...

i've been lost in the strange world of web design for the last couple of months (a girl has to eat, afterall)... but i'm here! yay!

Mood: wtf mate

ehhhh

suddenly i'm a subscriber?!



did i miss something???

oh confusion...

argh

Mood: annoyed

Sorry that several of my pictures were submitted more than once yesterday... deviantart was being a ginormous fucker and pretending i never submitted them at all.

grrrr.

and these mistakes you make
you'll just make them again
if you only try turning around...

i said goodnight.


your away message made me cry.

the theme of today is: saying goodbye without saying all the things you meant to say for months, maybe years.


i tangle myself up, i know that. i got myself into it. i shouldn't have even wondered.


but the point is that everyone walks out.

sometimes they turn off their phone.
sometimes they put up a careless note about leaving and how happy they are.
sometimes they forget.

who cares how they do it? it's all leaving.

and i can smile and wave while my heart breaks.
i can say, no that's fine don't worry about it when i'm dying as quietly as possible.


i can pretend i didn't fall in love with you the minute i saw you.
and i can pretend i never got hurt.


you probably will stop wondering why there's sadness in my eyes when i smile at you.

you're tragic, and beautiful, and bad for me. what else was i to do?

~

i was dreaming of rain
and his face...
and when i awoke,
still dry,
i was finally free.





back again, after another long break.


jess - i am so fucking impressed with you, holy shit woman am i proud to be your friend